Every day is a mystery.
whats next
where am i going tomorrow
where else can i go
what am i going to feel like after this
its going to hurt
its going to be worth it
thats a new feeling
these are all things i talk to myself about.
I dont know where I'm going, or how I'm going to keep my self alive getting to the next rest stop in my life, or if tonight is even the last night I get to sleep comfortably, or even sleep at all. I'm trying to enjoy this. This life isn't mine, its not anyones For some reason I'm lucky enough to be living inside this vessel. Even misery is amazing to experience, sometimes its better than sex. Sex is pretty good too. So is speed (movement). I love moving, rolling through streets and highways. Flying really makes me grateful to be alive. Looking over the terrain. I think this is why I love climbing hills on my bike. There is so much intense meditation going on when I'm riding up a hill or a mountain. I miss hills, I miss being out of the city. I miss being in the middle of nowhere, but only a half hour away from my home.
I love riding my bike up Mount Diablo or the Berkeley Hills. All I have to think about is my breathing, my pace and the environment around me. It all goes hand in hand. The steeper the grade, the more I have to use my mind to get my body to work efficiently. When everything works right, its great because I'm what put me there. Not a car or someone else driving, but me, just me riding that bike. But I love driving too, and being one with the car, listening to it, feeling it going back and fourth through curvy roads. Listening to the engine. Listening to the machine. I'm inside this crazy machine with all these levers and pedals and gears and they're all working together with me, and when they're all working together, its like they want to be going up the hill or around the corner too. Everything is in the right place at the right time. This is it.
I want to go to a meditation retreat. Not talk for a week. Just sit and think about now, not last week, or next week. Listen to guides helping me be mindful of my place in this universe. I am so grateful for being able to experience what I've lived in and seen, its so delicate and difficult to hear the universe in its natural form. Its there in everything we do. Its here right now.
whats next
where am i going tomorrow
where else can i go
what am i going to feel like after this
its going to hurt
its going to be worth it
thats a new feeling
these are all things i talk to myself about.
I dont know where I'm going, or how I'm going to keep my self alive getting to the next rest stop in my life, or if tonight is even the last night I get to sleep comfortably, or even sleep at all. I'm trying to enjoy this. This life isn't mine, its not anyones For some reason I'm lucky enough to be living inside this vessel. Even misery is amazing to experience, sometimes its better than sex. Sex is pretty good too. So is speed (movement). I love moving, rolling through streets and highways. Flying really makes me grateful to be alive. Looking over the terrain. I think this is why I love climbing hills on my bike. There is so much intense meditation going on when I'm riding up a hill or a mountain. I miss hills, I miss being out of the city. I miss being in the middle of nowhere, but only a half hour away from my home.
I love riding my bike up Mount Diablo or the Berkeley Hills. All I have to think about is my breathing, my pace and the environment around me. It all goes hand in hand. The steeper the grade, the more I have to use my mind to get my body to work efficiently. When everything works right, its great because I'm what put me there. Not a car or someone else driving, but me, just me riding that bike. But I love driving too, and being one with the car, listening to it, feeling it going back and fourth through curvy roads. Listening to the engine. Listening to the machine. I'm inside this crazy machine with all these levers and pedals and gears and they're all working together with me, and when they're all working together, its like they want to be going up the hill or around the corner too. Everything is in the right place at the right time. This is it.
I want to go to a meditation retreat. Not talk for a week. Just sit and think about now, not last week, or next week. Listen to guides helping me be mindful of my place in this universe. I am so grateful for being able to experience what I've lived in and seen, its so delicate and difficult to hear the universe in its natural form. Its there in everything we do. Its here right now.
posted by vectorbug at 10:45 PM
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