On Embarking
This year seems to be the year of leaving. Leaving my ex girlfriend / room mate. Leaving my first leased apartment. Leaving my best friends. Leaving my parents. Leaving San Francisco. Leaving a good job. Leaving my car (for sale). Leaving my favorite bike (never thought I'd live without it, now selling it).
Why? Why did I leave everything? Where am I going? Why not stay comfortable? Stay at home. Stay warm...
A couple years ago I did a small fundraiser and bike ride from San Francisco to LA. 7 days, 600 some miles. I only made it half way (geographically) but that doesn't matter. I trained and trained and got money from people for the event. And then the big day came. Woke up early, Jenn and I drove to the Cow Palace in SF, walked around, scared and nervous, and really excited. A whole week on a bike, with other cyclists and only one agenda - to have a great week on a bike...
These days I'm riding a bike that only has one gear and the gear is fixed with the wheel. There is no back pedaling - the wheel turns, the chain turns, the cranks turn, my feet turn - and the other way around. Builds good cadence, very simple to maintain, less stuff to break. Makes your legs stronger since using a "Granny Gear" isn't an option. Really the only option is to go or slow down. Since there is only one gear, its kind of a tough gear to start off on, not like on a car or a 10 speed, where you can start spinning easily and change gears as you go down hill. You're always in that big gear...
And because of this slow cadence that you start off with, there is something about getting on the saddle of this bike with one foot in the pedal, and the other foot on a step or curb or ground, and just slightly pushing yourself forward, gracefully and slowly. Like...watching an astronaut let go of the space station, and drift out into nothing, or when there is a funeral at sea, and the first and last initial contact with the casket boat is made, just a gentle, ominous shove into the unknown. Its the beginning of an adventure for that vessel.
We all have goals, we aim high, and sometimes we fall short. Sometimes the path is the goal.
Pushing off on a fixed gear is a lot like the morning of my trip to LA. Amazing and always bitter sweet. I am leaving my friends and family. Who knows if I'll arrive at my intended destination - anything can happen. Amazing things, and unspeakable accidents. I remember, very emotionally, how I felt when I went back to my bike after the warm up ceremony, and I was alone, Jen went outside or back to the car and we (2000 of us) rolled outside into the fresh july san francisco morning air, all of a sudden I had 2000 families clapping and waving me and all of us good luck, most importantly I saw Jen in the corner of my eye and I just smiled and wanted to cry.
That was just a week on my own and just one, very important person in my life.
This year seems to be the year of adventure.
Every time I take off for a ride on this machine, even if its just to ride to work, or to ride to the lake, its a ride through Chicago. I'm in Chicago, all the way out here, like some satellite in the middle of nowhere, going farther than I've ever gone before in my entire life. Its an allegory for this stage in my life. I'm shoving off on my own, and really, who knows where I'll end up. Who knows how my body will handle what the road dishes out. Who knows how my heart will behave.
Why? Why did I leave everything? Where am I going? Why not stay comfortable? Stay at home. Stay warm...
A couple years ago I did a small fundraiser and bike ride from San Francisco to LA. 7 days, 600 some miles. I only made it half way (geographically) but that doesn't matter. I trained and trained and got money from people for the event. And then the big day came. Woke up early, Jenn and I drove to the Cow Palace in SF, walked around, scared and nervous, and really excited. A whole week on a bike, with other cyclists and only one agenda - to have a great week on a bike...
These days I'm riding a bike that only has one gear and the gear is fixed with the wheel. There is no back pedaling - the wheel turns, the chain turns, the cranks turn, my feet turn - and the other way around. Builds good cadence, very simple to maintain, less stuff to break. Makes your legs stronger since using a "Granny Gear" isn't an option. Really the only option is to go or slow down. Since there is only one gear, its kind of a tough gear to start off on, not like on a car or a 10 speed, where you can start spinning easily and change gears as you go down hill. You're always in that big gear...
And because of this slow cadence that you start off with, there is something about getting on the saddle of this bike with one foot in the pedal, and the other foot on a step or curb or ground, and just slightly pushing yourself forward, gracefully and slowly. Like...watching an astronaut let go of the space station, and drift out into nothing, or when there is a funeral at sea, and the first and last initial contact with the casket boat is made, just a gentle, ominous shove into the unknown. Its the beginning of an adventure for that vessel.
We all have goals, we aim high, and sometimes we fall short. Sometimes the path is the goal.
Pushing off on a fixed gear is a lot like the morning of my trip to LA. Amazing and always bitter sweet. I am leaving my friends and family. Who knows if I'll arrive at my intended destination - anything can happen. Amazing things, and unspeakable accidents. I remember, very emotionally, how I felt when I went back to my bike after the warm up ceremony, and I was alone, Jen went outside or back to the car and we (2000 of us) rolled outside into the fresh july san francisco morning air, all of a sudden I had 2000 families clapping and waving me and all of us good luck, most importantly I saw Jen in the corner of my eye and I just smiled and wanted to cry.
That was just a week on my own and just one, very important person in my life.
This year seems to be the year of adventure.
Every time I take off for a ride on this machine, even if its just to ride to work, or to ride to the lake, its a ride through Chicago. I'm in Chicago, all the way out here, like some satellite in the middle of nowhere, going farther than I've ever gone before in my entire life. Its an allegory for this stage in my life. I'm shoving off on my own, and really, who knows where I'll end up. Who knows how my body will handle what the road dishes out. Who knows how my heart will behave.
posted by vectorbug at 5:48 PM
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